Fake Summer

Photo of a summer sunset.
Photo by Tarah Dane on Unsplash.

It’s 2020 

The fireworks go off 

People cheering and hugging 

Popping champagne bottles dripping 

Tipsy, cheery, blushed and flushed 

Feels like a new beginning 

A new decade, a new start, a chance to make it right 

But then it stopped – paused 

The world became frozen in time 

From events to the parties to the new opportunities 

Your school, your job, your life 

Bustling city streets now empty 

Like the world was there but the people vanished 

Into thin, thick, now toxic air 

Your city, your country, your world 

Stopped moving, stopped turning, shutdown 

But what would’ve been?

What could’ve been? 

Had this never happened?

What would my world look like now? 

Where would I be?

And who would I be? 

Would I be the same as I am? 

Or someone new whom I could never know? 

I would’ve gone back to the city 

Back to the city for fun 

Without a strain of responsibility 

For laughs, talks, walks 

Under sunny days and wild nights 

Going to the stores, shops and markets 

Walking in with no restrictions 

No capacity limit 

No fear, no anxiety and 

Freely brushing your hands 

Though the clothes on the racks 

Trying on that cute new top 

Crop tops and booty shorts 

Feel the fabric flow through your skin 

Owning your body, capturing these moments 

With you and your friends

Without the feeling of anxiety 

Of sickness and death 

Plaguing your every move 

The end of school 

And the beginning of Fake Summer 

Could’ve felt more real 

With you and your friends 

Whom you’ve grown to love 

Through fate and circumstance 

Being together 

Feeling together 

Knowing its forever 

Even when we’re young

Wild and fucking free

It would’ve been pride 

Celebrating the fifty years 

Of infinite love 

It would be my first time 

Many more things 

Could have been my first time 

A parade in the hot summer sun 

Crowded by hundreds 

Maybe even thousands 

Happy souls in bright colours 

Drenched all across the street 

You’re here and you’re queer 

Being you in no fear 

It’s the prime years of your life 

Turning the prime age in my life 

Experiencing the world

Before the world takes over you 

Where what I can do and where I could go 

Can reach no limitations 

Eating, drinking, celebrating 

One day dedicated to me

Talking about where we’ve been

And where we’re going to go 

Then we’d walk through the city 

In no fear 

Just us under the city lights in the night sky 

Going to places 

And seeing different faces 

In the late-night bars 

Latter nights in the club 

Intoxicated not in the alcohol in your veins 

But through the serotonin 

Beating in your heart 

Take me back 

To the time I’d be working 

To the tedious tasks 

To the serving and cleaning 

For the colourful guests that pass through time 

Take me back 

To the conversations 

Where we didn’t take life 

All that seriously 

Even if there were not the best moments 

And mistakes would be made 

Even if I’d still get hurt 

In a heartbeat I’d go back 

And do it all over again 

And continue 

I wish I could return 

To the day to day hustle 

Working all day 

Watching at night 

Summer wouldn’t have flashed by 

Like the snap of a finger 

Had I 

Had we 

Were given these moments 

Would’ve been my first festival 

A dream I could only dream about  

Looking up at the big screens 

Entering a world far from my own 

Seeing the stars I admired for so long 

The cameras flashing and the joy of meeting 

Those who I wished to be one day 

Who would be the new people I meet? 

The new bonds I could’ve created 

Positive souls entering my life 

Who would they be? 

New friends or something more? 

I never take a second 

Of this life and the next for granted 

And I’d put myself out there 

Like I’ve never done so before 

Would I have met the one? 

Or even just one new person? 

To hug, to hold, to love? 

Even if it would be fleeting? 

What I wish to have that experience 

Whether it would be one special person 

Or guy after guy 

Maybe something, anything could have happened 

Even if it was through hardships 

Whether heartbreaks or heartache 

The feeling of being wanting 

Or being wanted 

Of desire and opportunity 

That I wish I could have had 

Even with the seasons changing 

And life resets to normal

Or what normal used to be 

Returning to day to day school

Night to night work 

The world would still spin the same 

My world would feel alive the same way 

But the fantasy of what could have been 

What I could have done? 

Who I would have met? 

Who I would have turned out to be? 

All under that fake summer heat