BEWARE: The Horror of Regretted Right Swipes

I love swiping through dating profiles on my friend’s accounts and occasionally my own. I’m betting that there are high chances that you have also swiped through matches on a dating app in the past year (such as Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, etc.). Online dating matchups are an accepted and even encouraged, method of dating in this new era. It has evolved to quickly swiping through photos that show one’s best angle with somewhat humourous captions attached. 

My fascination lies in social experiments in which media organizations present a real-life version of swiping matches. Such as on the Late Late Show with James Corden, when Corden’s co-workers swipe potential in-person matches with a sports game foam finger. The discarded dating portfolios are forced to leave through the means of falling into a ball pit while three potential counterparts remain seated for final selection. 

It is so much easier to swipe on a mobile platform rather than meeting a person face to face and making a quick judgment. One can be easily picky based on physical traits: “he is too short,” “her nose is too big” or “I would never go out with someone wearing crocs so proudly.” Yet, when real-life people face us, we are more uncertain of our choices and more willing to take a chance on a potential significant other to get to know better. 

However, there are scenarios in which one can take a chance with a dating app match, which turns out to be a significant mistake, keep reading to hear four students’ horror experiences if you dare.

The Endgame Really Was in the Theatre

“I met Lisa a week after Avengers Endgame had gotten into theatres. I’m not a huge fan but knew it would be an entertaining time and that it would ensure that we would have tons to talk about after. So, I bought our tickets when we got there and a large popcorn to share, because what is more romantic than buttered fingers accidentally touching on the inside of the bag? I was not anticipating the theatre to be so utterly packed that we had to split up and sit on opposite ends of the theatre. I reluctantly gave the popcorn to her and watched the film while fighting for an armrest against a woman who made sure to get every drop out of her drink.

 I actually loved the film and the duration flew by, but when I searched for my date afterward she was nowhere to be found. I received no messages back and had to conclude that I had paid double and popcorn for a solo trip to see a film I was never interested in.”

-Chris Hox, 23

Love Screams Too Quickly

I once was told by a guy on our first date that he loved me, which was quite strange. I guess I’m just a little slow in the overall falling head over heels for a significant other. Another time I had been dating a guy for a few weeks, he stated that he wanted us to be in a dating relationship. I replied that I just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. He proceeded to yell at me on the streetcar in front of numerous strangers. He then stormed out, perhaps believing that I would follow him to fix what had happened. I instead remained for an awkward ride away from his angry form. I still have some really mean texts he sent me afterward. I think I dodged a bullet.”

-Leah DeVries, 20

Playing the Long Game

“I met this guy, Moon, and he basically was fresh off the boat. This is totally cool, except he didn’t speak a lick of English. So, for example, I was telling him, ‘I had eggs for breakfast,’ and he was like ‘what is breakfast?’ I then mimicked waking up and eating immediately. It became a game of charades very quickly, which is not the most attractive way to get to know someone. He seemed somewhat relieved that someone was willing to put in the effort to communicate with him but I was utterly exhausted. 

We finally reached the end of our date and he invited me to a concert in two months. He knew I liked the artist since my Spotify is linked to my online account. He was so insistent we go together, that I ended up ghosting him and not attending the concert myself, even though I had previously planned on attending. I saw him a year later at a party and his staring eyes let me know that the heartbreak was still fresh in his mind — yikes.”

-Bri Poxten, 19

Free Food Gone Too Far

“I went on a dinner date with this seemingly cutie whose personality was Sahara Desert level dry. It ended up being incredibly awkward. Our conversation was just a maze filled with dead-ends and began to feel like a job interview rather than an actual conversation. I was incredibly ready to pay for the cheque. When we were asked if we were done with our meals, she proceeded to ask for her leftovers (which in reality had barely been touched), to be placed in a container to bring home. She then proceeded to ask if I wanted my leftovers when I declined, she asked for them also to be packaged to bring home alongside her meal. She also had our appetizer soups and the complimentary bread in plastic containers seamlessly. I honestly thought she might ask for the water in our pitcher additionally. 

Once the bill arrived, she made no effort to potentially pay her half, despite receiving more than double the food I had consumed throughout the meal. She did, however, take all the mints. I think she was trying to destroy any idea in my mind about kissing her. Surprisingly, I didn’t ask her out again.”

-Hunter Borne, 22

Graphic by Lesley-Jane De Boer.