Fall is that happy season when we herald the return of our favorite television shows. Everyone has their favorite – either someone they want to be or someone they wish was real. Here’s a list of some of our favorite returning characters, and what they might be like if you met them in real life.
1. Jess from New Girl
Zooey Dechanel’s role as Jess in New Girl is something of a modern rehashing of an older television archetype: the quirky girl, or more cynically dubbed, “crazy-cute.” In the show’s first season, Jess awkwardly adjusted to single life after ending a long-term relationship, and moved into an apartment with three male room-mates.
However, Jess overcomes setbacks with her special brand of heart-melting nerdiness. She is ineffably dorky, but she’s also adorable, well dressed, and her best friend is a diva fashion model (because I suppose we can’t have her be too much on the fringe). While the “crazy-cute” label my often apply, Jess’s persistent optimism and sincerity make her someone you’d want to sing kareoke with on the weekends, especially if she let you borrow from her wardrobe from time to time.
2. Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation
Nick Offerman’s character from Parks and Recreation has fast garnered a reputation as one of the most bad-ass characters on TV. There is much that is mysterious about Ron Swanson, such as his disdain for government and his predilection for women named Tammy. However, there is much to be admired. His deep-seated love of bacon, for example, or his skill in woodworking. But as we’ve seen in past seasons, he’s also got a heart, and the conviction to do what’s right.
He may not want to be friends with you (“Friends: One to three is sufficient.”), but he’s the kind of guy you want to have around, particularly in a wilderness situation.
3. Troy and Abed from Community
One of the most endearing and entertaining bromances in television these days. Many circumstances threatened to tear them apart, like Troy’s forays into air-conditioner repair, and Abed’s recurring psychological instability. Still, any Community fan knows that Troy and Abed’s friendship can never die. Even though their relationship is something of a private club (which we can never hope to understand), their childlike imagination enthusiasm for Sci-fi makes us wish we could hop in the dreamatorium with them for a little while.
4. Dexter Morgan from Dexter
I’ll admit it, if this guy were real he’d be scary. But he’d definitely be the kind of guy you want on your side. Being a serial killer, Dexter Morgan is really good at, well, killing people. However, for a psychopath, he’s got a surprisingly exceptional (albeit unique) sense of right and wrong. He’s a serial killer that only kills other serial killers.
The coming season will most likely have Dexter caught between his love of stabbing people and a tense and borderline incestuous relationship with his stepsister. It’ll be interesting to see if his moral code holds up when he’s backed into a corner. For that reason he might not be a guy you would want to hang out with, unless you need immediate saving from serial axe-murderer.
5. Charlie Kelly from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
In a television show where everyone is a narcissistic, egotistical jerk, Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia becomes an endearing, though often bemusing character. While his illiteracy, questionable hygiene, and penchant for bashing rats may not be top selling points on say, a resume, his unwavering crush on “the waitress” and his musical-writing skills easily make him hardest Sunny character to hate.
The condescension he receives from his friends tends to make him the underdog of the show and his (occasional) successes are sweeter because of it. Charlie’s the guy you’re always rooting for.
Nevertheless, in real life, Charlie would probably be a useful guy to have around, not least for his skill in cat-whispering and salvaging trash from under bridges.